I have a confession (Alternate title: The Dumbest Reason Not to Blog)

I haven't blogged in almost a month. Have I been busy? Absolutely. But has a tiny part of me just been avoiding blogging altogether? Absolutely.

See, I have a serious case of blog envy. Serious. Because my blog doesn't have a niche. I've faced this before. I tried to pretend it doesn't bother me. But lately it's been paralyzing to the point of avoiding the blog completely.

I don't have goals for my blog. I never really figured I needed them. I was blogging because I liked it. But somewhere along the way, I realized there's so much more that REAL bloggers do that I don't. I don't have a niche. I can't take pictures worth beans. Based on the number of meals I've burned/overcooked/otherwise rendered inedible lately in my lifetime, there's no need to be tuning in for the debut of my cooking blog. I work full-time, so I'm not writing a homeschool/preschool/mom-blog. I consider myself successful when I access wireless internet on my iPhone without imploding the universe, so I certainly can't add anything to the tech blog scene. Of course, there's nothing like good writing, and this is nothing like good writing. And have you read Boomama and Bigmama? Wit that cannot be matched.

So, what exactly am I doing and why would anybody want to read (besides you, mom)?

I considered participating in NaBloPoMo just to get back on the bandwagon, but seriously, NOVEMBER? That's like saying, "You know what's brilliant? For me to impose completely unnecessary and arbitrary stress into my life really close to the holidays when I'm already thisclose to needing a dose or ten of Prozac in order to manage all the gift-buying, menu-planning, schedule-juggling, budget-drafting, house-decorating, school-partying hoopla that accompanies this quarter of the year!"

So, maybe I'm having a tiny identity crisis. An itsy bitsy pity party. If you want to join me, I'll bring the black balloons and you bring the snacks. You definitely don't want me cooking.

WWW Wednesday 10.28.09

I came across a real gem today. The ultimate website for a smart arse like me.

Do you know how many times in my entire life, or at least in the last 13-almost-14 years since Google's been available, I've wanted to tell someone, "Your Google is as good as mine!"? Now I can, in an equally condescending, yet more passive-agressive tone:

Let Me Google That For You

Happy Birthday, Piper!

My precious little love, my ray of sunshine, my pretty princess turned 3 today!



Happy 3rd birthday, baby! I love you!

Recognizing Weirdness

Today as I was driving the boys home from school, Micah, in a moment of introspection, asked, "Mommy, do you know what's weird about me?"

I had an answer on the tip of my tongue, but in an unusual moment of self-control, I simply asked, "What?"

Micah: "Well, sometimes I say I don't like to eat something but I really do. Like graham crackers. I say I don't like them, but I really do a little bit."

Me: "Why do you say you don't like something if you really do?"

Micah: "I don't know. That's the weird part."

Me: "That's not weird. There has to be a reason why you say you that."

Micah: "I wish I'd never gotten into this.

I know the feeling, buddy. I really do.

I'm such a great blogger that I forgot to title my post before I hit publish. Seriously.

I know it seems like I've abandoned my blog lately. Probably because I have. I just haven't felt much like blogging, I suppose. I'm actually pretty content to just read the blogs of other people who can do things like "employ sound writing techniques" and "find their blog's niche."

But today I discovered, quite by accident, how to add that cute little signature to the bottom of each of my blog entries. Maybe now I'll have a new reason to live blog.

For fun, I created this:



Because it looks exactly how I sign my name each day with my calligraphy pen.

And by calligraphy pen, I mean whatever writing utensil I can locate in my exact moment of need, including, but not limited to map pencils and crayons. Yes, I have stooped that low. But only because I have children who occasionally render my soundness of mind nonexistent.

And does anyone call them map pencils anymore? Or is "colored pencils" more politically correct and inclusive?

In other news, I have no idea how to conclude this blog post, so I'm just going to hope my cute new signature distracts "all" my "readers" by disguising my complete lack of writing ability.

Kind of like how fancy talking and a little charisma can win you the Nobel Peace Prize.

Yes, I went there.

See, here it is:

And one more time:

Bye now!

DipTacular 2009

*For some reason, blogger is being very ornery and is choosing erase all the spaces I'm typing between paragraphs. I apologize for the craziness and the unappealing layout of this blog entry. If anyone knows how to help, kindly email me.

**Now there are too many spaces, but when I start looking at the HTML code so I can fix the megabytes in order to correct the RAM settings for the IP address, I get my computer knowledge all confused. Basically I have no idea what I'm talking about and my eyes are starting to glaze over. And my head hurts. I should make dip immediately. Not to be confused with "take up" dip, which is an entirely different (and disgusting) vice. Conclusion: too much space is better than too little, right? Right.

I have been looking forward to a DipTacular blog carnival ever since Boomama posted about it yesterday. So, for literally hours.

I just peeked at her blog to check on the number of participants in the Dip festival today, and MY WORD the blogosphere is enthusiastic about some dip! I'm later than I wanted to be in writing/publishing this post and I'm practically going to be the eleventy billionth link.

Maybe if our current administration planned a big dip party, we might be thatmuch closer to world peace. Because obviously nothing brings people together better than a bunch of melty ingredients combined for the sole purpose of allowing people to substitute a chip for a spoon.

My favorite dip EVER is also the easiest dip EVER. Not original, but delicious. And most importantly, simple.

Spinach Dip

1 c. sour cream

1 c. mayonnaise (NOT Miracle Whip. There's no miracle in Miracle Whip. Just nastiness. And I tried substituting a negative word for "Miracle" and it's very difficult without turning the entire name into some kind of "adult" title when you have "whip" at the end. Moving on...)

1 pkg. chopped spinach (thawed)

1 pkg. vegetable soup mix

Combine all ingredients, chill, and serve!

You can also make this by substituting the mayo with sour cream. Just use 2 c. sour cream and no mayo. I call that the "healthified" version and I swear it tastes the same.

The next recipe has been handed down all the way from Mexico Chiquita (a now defunct Tex-Mex joint) to my aunt to me. If you want quick queso, you cube some Velveeta "cheese," add some milk and a can of Ro-Tel.

If you want some DELICIOUS queso, you make this:

1/2 stick margarine

1 small onion, chopped extremely fine

Cook in microwave until tender

Add:

4 Tbs. flour

2 tsp. paprika

3/4 tsp. chili powder

1/4 tsp. dry mustard

1/2 tsp. cumin

1/4 tsp. garlic salt

1 can Ro-Tel

This is like your basic Ro-Tel dip on steroids.)

Mix until thick.

Add:

1 1/2 c. milk

One pkg. Velveeta (ahhh, there it is!)

Cook in microwave until cheese melts.

Now, I'm off to get some ideas for dinner peruse the rest of the delicious dip recipes!

Overcoming my fear of commitment

There is a crafter inside of me just screaming to get out, but then I can usually convince that persona that her project will never turn out the way she pictures it in her mind (and I know this from lots of experience) and that's usually enough to shut her up.

And I admit it. I have a HUGE fear of commitment when it comes to designing and COMPLETING craft projects.

This phobia doesn't manifest itself in any other aspect of my life, including my love life. Jason and I met and were engaged 2 weeks later. 6 months after that we became husband and wife.

True story.

But when it comes to redoing a piece of furniture... That's when I get sweaty palms, an irregular heartbeat and have difficulty breathing.

I just can't make the decision. Something about choosing seems so...terminal. I walk into the craft store, good intentions at the ready. But then I get so overwhelmed by All The Choices that all my intentions become the pavement on the road to hell.

That is, until I discovered the fabulousness of Mod Podge. This stuff is foolproof (coming from one who truly knows). It's genius. I'd like to hug the neck of the person who invented it to show my appreciation for their brilliance.

Although, that might just make things too awkward between us. So maybe a thank you note is more appropriate.

Most recently I decided to redo this fine specimen of a table:

I didn't know I had such mad photography skills. Just look at how I captured that layer of dust on the bottom rungs with such clarity.

That table is the last remnant of furniture from Jason's bachelor days. We still had his old couch and oversized chair until we moved last year and decided that split and stained cushions and caved in arms were just not worth the energy and space it would take to haul them.

I was a little sad because that couch had been really good to me during all three of my pregnancies. I was afraid the couch felt a pang of betrayal after all those years of taking care of me.

Then the new stuff was delivered to our new house. And my heart fluttered with euphoria on the inside. Old couch be darned, the new furniture is wonderful!

Anyway, he tried to convince me the table was an antique, but chances are he probably found next to a dumpster at his old apartment complex or something. I never asked for the full story.

I knew the table was going to have to be sanded first, so I armed myself with fine grain sand paper, plopped myself down on the front porch one day (we're Klassy) and got to work. I thought I had done a pretty decent job of "roughing it up" so that I could spray paint it, but when I cleaned it off, the finish looked just as glossy as it had before I started, so I pulled out the big guns: The Power Sander.

Once I power-sanded the table into submission, I spray painted it off-white. The technical shade is called Heirloom White.

I didn't take pictures of any of the in-between steps because I'm lazy like that. And I really wasn't in the mood to give myself a heat stroke by staying outside any longer than I had to.

Boy, I am really dragging this out. So sorry. Could we just get to the point?

Once it was spray painted, I let it dry for about 2 weeks.

I may not be a crafter, but procrastination is practically my spiritual gift.

I was planning to Mod Podge some paper to the top in a pattern that would coordinate with Missy's room, because her room doubles as the guest room and the big bed was in desperate need of a nightstand. Guests need to have a place to put their miscellaneous crap at night.

Long story entirely too long, I cut the paper into the sizes that I needed, rounded the corners with a paper punch and mod-podged all of it to the top of the table.

I was actually quite pleased that my inner crafter did such a fine job.






Please excuse the blue wall. I'm sure it was a lovely coordinating shade for the nursery decor of the people who lived here before us, but it's rather hideous next to Missy's lavender, black and off-white scheme. We purchased the paint for the room about 6 months ago. Along with a paint sprayer that Jason promised me would help get the job done faster. Clearly.

I've been experimenting with Mod Podge on a few other projects. I find it to be incredibly therapeutic. And I'm not even kidding.

Head on over to Mod Podge Mania to see what other awesomeness people are creating with Mod Podge!